the third

"marlborough lights they kill you like shit, i'm gonna fall off the wagon on the third, I been on it too long.  I'm gonna fall off the wagon.  on the third.  you know i like the red label, johnny walker, and busch beer is my favourite, but its hard to find.  Busch beer.  Busch beer.  I like budweiser too.  But Busch is better.  Back in Kentucky its easy to find but boy here it sure ain't.  Busch.  You know what I do when I find busch?  I cut the can in half, make sure I get every drop.  Gotta get your money's worth when you find what you want.  Cut it in half.  When I drink budweiser I just throw it away.  But when I drink Busch, I cut it in half.

What's your favourite beer?  Oh, bourbon?  Me not so much bourbon.  You like red wine or white wine?  Oh, red?  I like both.  Heh.  You want purple teeth?  Drink a lotta red wine, look in a mirror, like this.  You see.  Oh, yeah you know that already.  You know what, drink white wine an you'll have yellow teeth. Go like this:     Yeah then have another smoke and 'll get yellower.  Heh.  The third, I'm gonna fall off.

You know I used to be the best bartender in new york city.  Got an eye for it.  Never messed up by half a thousandth of an ounce.  Half a thousandth.  Never.  You want a wine spritzer?  Yeah some red wine, some white wine, little soda, twist of lemon.  Got yerself a spritzer.  A real wine spritzer.  

You know I stayed with my brother one time, I get in, he lets me shave, lets me shower, lets me sleep, I put on this record before I go to shave, it goes like this:

you want me to translate that to english for you? 

yeah, its italian.  yeah, in english?

i feed you, i share with you, you betray me, you abused me

then the next day, my brother says 'get out you bastard; you can try to come back, but see what i'll say to you.' i ask him why?  something I did when I was drunk.  He says 'I'll never forgive you.'  I know in my head that I will come back someday.  He says 'I'll sing to you while you go.'

he sings 

i feed you, i share with you, you betray me, you abused me

and now i stay at this shelter on lafayette, you know, comfortable bed, feed you good, feed you so good, but you gotta be there by four.  

next time i see you, i hope your teeth are purple!"

- Louie

--- 

ran into somebody i didn't expect today

went to all the wrong buildings

walked determined into the cold sun

home wasn't where i was supposed to be going

i thought to myself

'at least i'm going home'

"enter to exit" - ATM

cosmetics

mascara:

black

very black

blackest black

brown-black

black-brown

brown

LIGHT|HOUSE

last night i fell asleep in the ocean 

then i ate takeout with my mom in the middle of the road

and there was a metal roller coaster skeleton behind us, and before waking up i climbed it

i am getting better at sitting still for long periods of time and feigning interest

my mind wanders

i am giggling on the couch here 

cause "what we really need now is an emotional history of the lower east side; it was wild, it was wild...!" 

my knees are inscribed

and my will is bent.